Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
