I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
