Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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