he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
