Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
