i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
