I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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