I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
