Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
