I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
