Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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