Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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