Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Randomize
