please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
