Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
