just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
