So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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