doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
