I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
