i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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