were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
