She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Everclear isn't food dammit
My vagina is very pro this idea
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
