my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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