You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
