brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
