Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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