i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Alive.
So much puke
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
