Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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