I murdered the dance floor call the cops
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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