Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
