I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
