the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
