Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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