if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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