apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he puts the penis in happiness.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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