then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
