this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
