Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
