no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
