Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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