As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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