I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
