Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
