Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
