i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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