But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
