I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Found the puke drawer
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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