I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
