Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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