You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
