How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
