i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
