9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
