I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
